Parents frequently get mad at my life choices

By | December 16, 2016

I’m 26 and I find both of my parents get mad at me for very bad reasons. For example, I was visiting my mom. In a mad tone she told me to stop playing a game on my phone. Just realizing it now, I find this hypocritical as when I come to visit she usually leaves the TV on and watches it so it’s not as if we’re giving each other undivided attention. I find this particularly offensive as I got a job and worked hard to make money to buy my phone, both of my parents seem averse to technology and my mom never owned a cellphone.

I wouldn’t say my parents regret their life decisions, but I would say they aren’t happy with their life. They both live alone and don’t like their jobs. I sometimes wonder if they take this out on me.

I also find my parents get mad at me for work/career related decisions. I’ve always had a full time job when I wasn’t in school full time since I was 16. Right now they’re mad at me because my job doesn’t use my degree and doesn’t advance my career (I took it as it’s temporary and pays very well and I need money right now).

I told my mom that’s she’s not allowed to talk about my work, phone, money or living accommodations because it always leads to an argument. Was this the right thing to do or any other suggestions?

Also things like if my parents found out I have been napping they start criticizing me for being unhealthy or lazy.

I find that both my parents are very nosy and if I try to steer the conversation away from a topic that would be unpleasant to discuss, they go towards it. Also both my parents need to get the last word in an argument, they won’t drop a subject until you drop it. This behavior makes me want to hide information from them.

When I say my parents get mad at something I do, it’s usually expressed through their tone of voice. I’m curious, is getting mad at someone ever an appropriate? It’s ok to express your opinions and desires and to tell a person not to do something, though “getting mad” basically means trying to use aggression to control another person.

By the way I’ve seen a psychologist for a completely separate issue and found it did more damage than help so please don’t suggest seeing a psychologist or councilor.